10. Keep your phone maps app open during any taxi ride, they will try to take you long way round.

 

9. Purchase after sun before travel, it's expensive in any country as only the tourists buy it

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8. Drink only sealed alcohol and water bottles.  If the seal is broken they have refilled the water with their tap water, and the alcohol can be anti-freeze.  No joke, don't drink it.

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7.  Do not bring any clothes you are emotionally attached to, they will be ruined.  Bringing white clothes is an official school boy error

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6.  Choose where to urinate wisely.  The amount of times people have been arrested for urinating on the Thai King banners bemuses me.

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5. As with Jason Bourne, know your nearest toilet.  I mean, he mapped out places so he could fight in any space, but you just had to trust that fart... Now there's a memory test on the closest toilet.

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4. Oh, while your running, there is probably a charge for the toilets, keep money handy for that. Here you go, now run!  Hmm, there was something I was missing. Oh yeah, the toilet paper, keep a stash with you. Whoops. I sure you'll be fine.

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3. Headtorches, while they look hilarious, power outages are common, so keep one with you to check out the cockroaches in your room at night or the invading tarantulas.  Fine, I'll deal with it.

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2. Beware when swimming near couples in the sea.  If they are the distance out where not many people are swimming and are looking as innocent as they can.  They are 100% having sex.  Keep a wide berth, or try out that shark fin you bought as a joke. Do it, do it.

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1. Mosquito sprays. Buy an industrial sized can of 1000% deet mossy spray before travel.. There can be sprays abroad that do not have as much chemicals of mass destruction as you desire.