SE.Asia's Top 10 Workouts
Urgh, I don't want to go to the gym, it sucks. Hmm, why not fly as far away as possible and lose that extra weight through adventure and sheer terror. The thought of the perfect beach body and actual death is a real motivator. For quicker results, a dose of Bali belly before you go on your exercise routine will really help. It's not what you put in, it's how many ends things can come out in Asia. You pumped?? Thought so.. Let get to it!
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*Calories burnt based on 1 hrs exercise weighing 13.5 stone.
10. Cooking Courses - Throughout Asia - 216 calories per hour- As a warm up to the main workouts, a simple cooking course can get those calories burning. With the added extra of a healthy meal at the end of it. You've gone for the chocolate cooking course? Good choice in my eyes, but, we may have eaten more calories than we burnt.
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9. Full Moon Party Dance Class- Thailand ,Koh Pen Nang- 388 calories per hour - There's always going to be a chance to rave the night away on holiday, and with 388 calories burnt we can definitely go for another bucket to stay hydrated. It seems a few other people have been using performance enhancing drugs with their vigorous dancing here. Who would have thought? They must know that fast dancing burns around 518 calories.
8. White Water Rafting - Indonesia, Bali - 431 calories per hour - The extreme sports have begun, with a light paddle through some white water. Shall we sit in the front or back? It's fine i'll sit next you and won't push you in when the rapids get large. With this workout you get the added boost of the cool refreshing water. I'm sure it's fine to drink.
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7. Snorkel Boot Camp - Malaysia, Sipidan - 431 calories per hour - Wait your not wearing speedos? Ok, I'll be more streamline in the water then. With beach life in full effect throughout south east Asia, the way of the snorkel is a great way to annoy the exotic fish and check for sharks. Just remember it's not funny to use your fingers to block other peoples snorkels. Then again, they will swim faster. It's all about the burn.
6. Muay Thai Boxing Match - Thailand, Koh Phi Phi - 486 calories and hour - Mouth guards in, let's have a few rounds of Muay Thai. It's just trying to kick the head right? Well, it's great that we can have a few tester rounds before we go pro. And we get a free bucket at the bar. Drinks and a show.
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5. Jungle Treks - Borneo - 518 calories per hour- Understandably this is in the top 5, walking through jungles will definitely be higher in calorie count though. 518 calories is for hiking, unfortunately there seems to be no calorie count for nervously walking through the jungle in tropical heat with the threat of leeches. You'd pick up the pace, so we'll take this figure as the baseline.
4. Backpacking - Wherever the back needs a pack - 604 calories per hour - Yes, walking around with 15 plus kilograms on your back will burn loads of calories. I mean, you just had to carry those walking boots across the world, and who could do without all that huge buddha stature. It was an absolute bargain. You see, the next time you get lost, take a deep breath and remember, your waist will love you for it. Your back on the other hand..
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3.Cross Country Great Wall Of China Run - 776 calories per hour - Now we are into the great ideas, with the great wall being 13,170 miles long, we can really get our heart rate pumping. Let's just hope that we can make it the whole way. Is it bad it have a stich in the first 100 meters? I'll jog it off.
2. Island Hopping Without The Boat- Fiji - 863 calories per hour - Great move not paying for the island hopping pass. We can save money and get our beach bodies. I mean, it's true that the currents will take us the wrong way, and there are sharks, and that we will probably drown. In fact, this is a terrible idea. Let's head back. Did you just kick my foot? No? Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1. Rock Climbing - Thailand, Krabi, Railey Beach - 949 calories per hour - It's wonderful being by the beach watching people fall off rocks. At nearly 1000 calories an hour, I bet we could ascend this rock face at least once in an hour. The added bonus of climbing here, is the bars look onto the climbing walls. So, you can enjoy a guilt-free beer tower whilst criticising the wall climbing rookies. Heaven.
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* All calorie burned information from www.shapefit.com
*Cheeky Wander Legal Department, this is a sarcastic article. In no way should you exercise whilst being de-hydrated and physically ill.